Forget Me Not

Yesterday I read this post  by a friend of mine. She asks the questions, "What am I? What makes me special?" 

It was a little crazy to read as she pondered her questions, because strangely enough I had been having some of the same doubts and fears as she did. 

{maybe we all go through the same things at the same time and just don't know it until one brave soul says something.}

You know in classrooms and church when everybody's being introduced, and they ask you to say one unique thing about yourself? 

Oh man do I hate those games. My mind always goes blank.

And afterward, I find myself complaining to Chris:

There's nothing special about me. I'm not unique. I'm not doing anything noticeable in the world. 

These thoughts tend to stick around.

This morning as I was making the bed, I decided to grab the book, "Forget Me Not" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf and thumb through it. 

Here is what I read:

God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. 

Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.

And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others--usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths....As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does. 

....be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-not [flowers], these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss one of life's sweetest experiences.

And I realized, I have been so very caught up in what I'm not accomplishing, that I've missed the tiny flowers that have been blooming all over my life.

Man, did I feel stupid. 

President Uchtdorf compares the five petals of the forget-me-not to five things we should never forget. So, here are five small successes/blessings I will remember:

1. I was worthy enough to marry a strong priesthood leader in the temple. We are sealed for eternity--I know he will be a righteous influence for the rest of our lives, and preside over our family as such. 

2. Even though some days I feel as if I don't have a single friend to lean on {stupid college town--everyone moves away}, I guarantee that I could text one friend who is 300 miles away, and she would happily respond. And even if I felt awkward asking,  my sweet VT partner would be willing to help me in a heartbeat out if I ever needed it.  

3. As much as I worry about my hair not being up-to-date, or not knowing how to do it in the cute fashions I see everywhere, it still looks decent. I am complimented on it almost every week at work, and though I tend to discount that quite often, I must be doing something right. {seriously....i want cute hair.}

4. We live in a beautiful, spacious apartment where we are able to let our two cats run around. And if we haven't found a place up north yet, then it's because this is where we need to be right now. 

5. The Lord thinks we are doing all right. 

A little backstory for you-- a couple weeks ago, Chris & I were called in to meet with the stake president of a single's ward {yeah, we were thinking the same thing you are.}During the interview, he told us that Chris's name had come up. After we told him we would be willing to serve in whatever position Chris was called to, we also told him that we expected to be moving sometime this summer. He kindly nodded and closed the interview without extending a calling. He told us that if we felt that moving was what we needed to do, then the Lord would 'catch us some other time.' 

"Think of it like this," he told us. "The Lord knows that you have been living righteously. He's proud of what you're doing. And even if He isn't able to call you now, He'll call you to serve wherever you are, because He trusts you."

All in all, it kind of sounded like he was saying the Lord was giving us a thumbs-up. 

I hadn't been thinking of it like that, but it changed my perspective. 

We're trusted. He's proud of us.

Our successes are not small to Him.

I should be proud too.

My Butt's In Gear {For Now}

I only made two New Year's resolutions. 

1. Remember to pray in the morning. {I am not a morning person, so this small task is surprisingly impossible for me to remember most of the time.}

2. Get in shape. {aka get tonnnnned.} Work out at LEAST 3 times a week. 

So far, I've actually been accomplishing both.*gasp*

And I never truly realized just how much getting your body moving can make you feel better. I have more energy, I feel more motivated, it wakes me up....{and as a side effect, I complain a lot more about sore muscles, but that's more Chris's problem}. Totally worth the sweat. 

So whatever the resolutions were that YOU made, stick to it! We're so in this together. 

You inspire me.

{...and for goodness sake, i only have two...quitting would be embarrassing.}

Reach for the Sky! Somebody's Poisoned the Waterhole...

Can I just say.

Can I JUST say.

I don't have any idea what I'd do without Chris. 

Now that its been said, let me give you a bit o' background. Lately, it seems like so many people complain that their lives aren't what they'd like them to be, that the journey wasn't what they wanted, or that things are just no good for them. 

It kinda makes me sad. Because I believe that life is what you make it. What you and God make it, really. You can't do it on your own, and you can't expect things to change just by wishing and complaining. Get off your butt and walk the walk. My apologies for the late-night venting. 

But the main point is, I am so grateful to have married an honest, hard-working (and studly), imaginative, strong (and more studly), worthy, and generous man. He pushes me to be my best. I have him to thank for bearing with me through the endless paper-writing of my senior year. I'm pretty sure my essays would have been a lot less interesting without his ideas strung through them. He always told me I could do anything I believed in. 

End result? Getting a framed and for-real Bachelor of Arts Degree. 

And afterward, when I was mopey and complain-y about being graduated without the super-great job that was supposed to fall in my lap, he slapped me upside the head (okay, metaphorically) and told me I couldn't expect anything to change if I didn't do anything about it {He may have said that in a much nicer way to spare my prickly emotions}. So I decided to take action, rather than keep complaining. I went out and found an everyday job to put in my fair share of the bread-bringing, and then I prayed. I prayed that I could find an opportunity to use my degree-earned skills. And when one pretty much fell out of the sky, Chris was there to urge me on, telling me that I could do it.

And.....I did it. I found an editing job and I'm still so freaked-out happy that I could just pee my pants.

All thanks to Chris. 

{Love you}

The Little Itty-Bitty Things

Being job-less sure does give a person time to reflect on what they do have. 

And to learn patience.

And faith.

And more patience.

But man do I ever not have patience.

Ya. Ugh.

Its been hard, but I do feel like there might be some things I'm supposed to learn.

Like patience (Get it yet? Ha!)

So I'm trying. And these are some little things I've appreciated along the way:

GORGEOUS graduation bouquet from Chris's parents!

The sweet little hummingbirds who so obligingly visit my feeder.

Strawberries....mmmmm.

Don't you just want to go out and get some for yourself?? 

(Go ahead. I'll wait.)

And lastly but definitely not leastly, let's not forget one of the smallest, yet most important things of all:

Faith.

"When we get discouraged we sometimes forget just how far our faith can take us."

WANT IT

I am going to make these. I am I am I AM.

Book Wreath

Not sure where I'll put it...but I still want one.

And I have the perfect dresser in mind for this....

Dresser Revamp

Except my dresser is so old I'm pretty sure the handles are GLUED on...yikes....there must be a way around that...

My Life In-Between

I have a problem. 

I am a drain-circler.

(Drain-circler: One who gets caught up in the whirlwind of worrying)

                           Life is so haaaard.                Its all so useless...

    WHY ME? 

                     

                       I can't do anything. 

You get the picture.  

Right now, it seems to be harder than ever. I've graduated, but I'm still in temporary limbo while Chris finishes school. So--

Where the HECK am I going?

Where am I going to find a job? 

Shouldn't I know what I want?

who am i?

I have spent 5 years in this city, and I still don't feel connected. I'm slowly moving away from my high school friends (I know, it took me a long time to let go) and yet I'm not sure I've made new ones. 

There's a line between a friendly acquantaince and a  real friend.

I'm not sure I know how to cross it.

(Sad face)

 Anyway....

enough circling.

Today I am a real person with goals and stuff.

#1: I will use part of my empty afternoon to go picture-taking around the city rather than sitting at home boo-hooing.

 #2: I will make a list of things I am grateful for: 

• CHRIS. Who snuggles me up at night and makes me hot chocolate. 
• The semi-warm sun that is peeking out today. The birds I heard singing in the dark at 7am this morning. 
• Taco-Tuesday! WOO cheap tacos. 
• My pretty new skirts that I wish it was warm enough to wear! 
• The chance to accompany some R.S. gals on the piano...I felt special to be asked! :)  
•  The wonderfulness of prayer.    

#3: I will make a cute fabric rosette to clip onto my purse.

#4: I will make MORE fabric rosettes to put on a skirt I made. 

They are just so cute and easy its hard to resist. 

#5: I will not be a drain-circler today.