Yesterday I read
this post by a friend of mine. She asks the questions, "What am I? What makes me special?"
It was a little crazy to read as she pondered her questions, because strangely enough I had been having some of the same doubts and fears as she did.
{maybe we all go through the same things at the same time and just don't know it until one brave soul says something.}
You know in classrooms and church when everybody's being introduced, and they ask you to say one unique thing about yourself?
Oh man do I hate those games. My mind always goes blank.
And afterward, I find myself complaining to Chris:
There's nothing special about me. I'm not unique. I'm not doing anything noticeable in the world.
These thoughts tend to stick around.
This morning as I was making the bed, I decided to grab the book, "Forget Me Not" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf and thumb through it.
Here is what I read:
God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.
Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.
And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others--usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths....As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.
....be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-not [flowers], these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss one of life's sweetest experiences.
And I realized, I have been so very caught up in what I'm not accomplishing, that I've missed the tiny flowers that have been blooming all over my life.
Man, did I feel stupid.
President Uchtdorf compares the five petals of the forget-me-not to five things we should never forget. So, here are five small successes/blessings I will remember:
1. I was worthy enough to marry a strong priesthood leader in the temple. We are sealed for eternity--I know he will be a righteous influence for the rest of our lives, and preside over our family as such.
2. Even though some days I feel as if I don't have a single friend to lean on {stupid college town--everyone moves away}, I guarantee that I could text one friend who is 300 miles away, and she would happily respond. And even if I felt awkward asking, my sweet VT partner would be willing to help me in a heartbeat out if I ever needed it.
3. As much as I worry about my hair not being up-to-date, or not knowing how to do it in the cute fashions I see everywhere, it still looks decent. I am complimented on it almost every week at work, and though I tend to discount that quite often, I must be doing something right. {seriously....i want cute hair.}
4. We live in a beautiful, spacious apartment where we are able to let our two cats run around. And if we haven't found a place up north yet, then it's because this is where we need to be right now.
5. The Lord thinks we are doing all right.
A little backstory for you-- a couple weeks ago, Chris & I were called in to meet with the stake president of a single's ward {yeah, we were thinking the same thing you are.}During the interview, he told us that Chris's name had come up. After we told him we would be willing to serve in whatever position Chris was called to, we also told him that we expected to be moving sometime this summer. He kindly nodded and closed the interview without extending a calling. He told us that if we felt that moving was what we needed to do, then the Lord would 'catch us some other time.'
"Think of it like this," he told us. "The Lord knows that you have been living righteously. He's proud of what you're doing. And even if He isn't able to call you now, He'll call you to serve wherever you are, because He trusts you."
All in all, it kind of sounded like he was saying the Lord was giving us a thumbs-up.
I hadn't been thinking of it like that, but it changed my perspective.
We're trusted. He's proud of us.
Our successes are not small to Him.
I should be proud too.